Believe In Your Dreams

I didn’t know as a child or even teenager that I would someday become a writer much less an author – no idea.

When I was in grade-school I won a writing contest that our school librarian, Mrs. Martin, held. She titled our writing subject: What America Means to Me. I won first place.  I had never won anything before. And as the winner, my essay was published in our local newspaper; The Panola Watchman. To say I was proud is an understatement! I have that very essay, from that newspaper, framed. I guess that would be called my Cornerstone essay.

Although that was a mountaintop experience for a little country girl, I grew up and quickly that experience was in the far rearview mirror. Life took many twists and turns and overtime I forgot that experience and the joy of writing. I didn’t take the normal journey through high school and then off to the college experience. Like many I had a detour.  I did return to college as a much wiser, older adult ready to get on with equipping myself for the journey ahead.  Since talking had always been the only thing at which I was remotely good, when a scholarship in speech communications was available, I went that direction. I loved to talk! I had always loved to talk! What I didn’t realize was that talking, words, writing all were my gifts. I had never heard we are given gifts; no one told me; EVER.  Dr. Schmidt, my speech professor and LetaFae Arnold, my junior college English professor were the first to describe and point out my gifts

Dr. Schmidt called me into his office and told me what an incredible speaker I was. In grade school, Mr. Cariker, our principal, never quite put it that way. He said, “Kathy, someday you will use this talking in a good way but for now, detention.”  What Dr. Schmidt was saying to me, I couldn’t quite grasp.  “Have you ever thought of social work, teaching speech, or maybe being a counselor? “, he said. “People listen to you. The students in our class respect you and what you have to say.” I still didn’t grasp. I walked out that day pondering his words. I was in school because of LetaFae. She believed for me when I couldn’t believe for myself.  Now two people were speaking into my life about my gifts and abilities. These words would become seeds and begin to grow.

I remember it was my English class I enjoyed, it’s where I found I could easily focus. We now know I had ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) which wasn’t diagnosed or understood years ago. Focusing was a real issue for me, but not in English. I soaked up those classes like a sponge. I always loved and enjoyed the English teachers. LetaFae first came into my life as a Sunday school teacher; she was also an English professor at the local junior college. She was relentless in encouraging me to take her creative writing class which I finally did. That one semester stirred the writing juices and the love for writing came alive! It had never been dead; it was just lying dormant.

The doors opened at the University of Texas at Tyler for me to major in Speech and minor in English, the two areas in which I loved and could easily focus.  The day I walked into the creative writing class was thrilling, but not for long. Suddenly, for the first time, no matter what I wrote, it was not good enough. I had gotten A’s in LetaFae’s class and now a C?  When I would try to talk to the professor, Dr. So&So, (not her real name!) she would simply dismiss me. I was not to be dismissed!  Finally, one day in front of the entire class, she told me I was not a writer, would never be a writer, and was wasting her time and mine.   At age thirty-five I had no time to waste.  Her eyes and her words tried to crush my spirit and almost did; but I remembered Mrs. Martin in elementary school believed in me, Leta Fae believed in me, and Dr. Schmidt believed in me. They said I could write; they said I could speak; they said I had gifts. But I alone had to choose what I would believe.

I’m so glad I had those people in my life who had helped build a strong foundation in me. I remember walking out of that teacher’s class that day, holding the tears in check and going to my car where I sat alone with my thoughts. She had made it clear early on she didn’t like me and my writing seemed to even offend her.  You see, I was a new Christian, a passionate Christian, and I’m sure my writings had that flavor.  I was exuberant for Jesus and He flowed out of every part of my life. I had enough joy for anyone who didn’t have joy!

For the life of me, I couldn’t understand why or how anyone couldn’t let me be me; I didn’t want to change anyone; I wasn’t trying to clone anyone; for the first time I was learning who I was and actually enjoying being me!  But Dr. So&So (not her real name!) didn’t see it that way. I wasn’t sure how she saw it but it was evident how she saw me.

I finished her class. I had no more English courses to take; hers had been the last and could have easily rendered me a failure.  But because of the positive people I had come to know and trust and the perspective they had given me, I was eventually able to shake off the damage Dr. So&So tried to inflict. I erased her words and held onto the influence of those who came before her. I chose to believe in my gifts and the Giver of all good gifts.

A short time later, our oldest daughter Traci was in college. She wanted to be a teacher and coach. She knew what she wanted. She had a coach in junior high, Elaine Tiller, whom she loved and respected. “I want to be a coach like Mrs. Tiller,” she announced in her eighth-grade year. That was her dream.  However, when she was doing her student teaching, the teacher advising her, told her she needed to pursue another career because she would not be good as a teacher. Traci’s experience was beyond awful with this lady; she was crushed. She got her degree, got married, had two children, and became a stay-home mom. Her dream to teach and coach were in the rearview mirror; Traci thought there was no dream; it was over. DETOUR AHEAD

Everything has timing; there is a season for everything. Traci, along with Todd, raised two phenomenal children, gave them a strong foundation, while using her singing talents in churches and other events. Phil and I were hopeful she would pursue her gift of singing; however, her dream since eighth grade was not dead; only dormant. God’s calling and purpose were being resurrected.  Traci always helped at her kids’ school and the principal got to know her. She asked her to think about teaching; maybe substitute teaching. Traci’s confidence had been so shaken by that one student teaching experience that she couldn’t grasp that anyone would want to hire her. That principal didn’t just want to hire her; she WANTED her to teach for her!

Traci has now been teaching/coaching for twenty years.  She has been in several schools BECAUSE principals pursued her! She has been TEACHER OF THE YEAR three times at three campuses! Her coaching career became widely known due to several undefeated seasons.  Winning titles, championship banners that cover gym walls, display her gifted leadership talents through hard working players.  But what she is known most for is the character building she provided in the girls who went through her program. Her reputation as an encourager and her love for kids goes before her. I love shopping with her because I feel like I’m with a rock star! Parents and students alike flock to her. It’s clear what an impact she has made on her students.

I remember the day that the advising teacher told her to pursue another career; as a mama bear, man did  I want to pay her a visit!  I equally remember the day I sat in my car when Dr.So&So told me I couldn’t write. Two experiences, different yet meant to do the same thing: stop God’s purpose, plans and dreams.

We, Traci and I, had a choice. Listen to the people we trusted or let the words of people we would never see again rob us of our hope and dreams.

The day I published my book, DETOURS & DREAMS, part of me wanted to find Dr.So&So’s address and send her an autographed copy; I’m just being real with you. I love Jesus but He has to keep me in check from time to time! Not everyone will speak encouragement into our lives, yet God allows them into our journey. Sometimes it’s the harshest critic that actually births something in us we need. God turns those words of DIScouragement into rich, long-lasting determination.  The day I sat in my car, I determined to follow my heart and trust that God would show me my path and purpose.

Phil, Todd, and I became Traci’s cheerleaders. Then others, like wonderful principals, stepped in to open the door into her calling.

God always has a way, but Satan equally has a plan. We choose who to believe.

If you do not have a personal cheerleader, be like King David: Samuel 30:6, “David was greatly distressed, for the men spoke of stoning him; But David encouraged and strengthened himself in the Lord his God.” Thousands of years later we still read about David, a man after God’s own heart. If anyone had a reason to give up it was him. But he didn’t. I didn’t. I hope you won’t!

Choose this day, who will you believe about your life?

Who knows what is waiting for you?