I didn’t know as a child or even teenager that I would be a writer; no idea.
When I was in grade school I won a writing contest that our school librarian, Mrs. Martin, who was also the wife of the superintendent, held. She titled the subject: What America Means to Me. I won first place. I had never won anything before; my essay was published in our local newspaper, The Panola Watchman. To say I was proud is an understatement! I have that very essay, from that newspaper, framed. I guess that would be called my Cornerstone essay.
Although that was a mountaintop experience for a little country girl, I grew up and that experience was in the far rearview mirror. Life took many twists and turns and overtime I forgot that experience and the joy of writing. I didn’t take the normal journey through high school and off to the college experience, but I did return to college as a much wiser, older adult ready to get on with equipping myself for the journey ahead. Since talking had always been the only thing I was remotely good at, I majored in Speech Communication. I loved to talk! I had always loved to talk! What I didn’t realize was that talking, words, writing all were my gifts. I had never heard we are given gifts; no one told me; EVER. Till Dr. Schmidt and LetaFae Arnold. Dr.Schmidt called me into his office and told me what an incredible speaker I was. Mr.Cariker, our principal in school, never quite put it that way. He said, “Kathy, someday you will use this talking in a good way but for now, detention.” When Dr.Schmidt was saying this to me, I couldn’t quite grasp it. “Have you ever thought of social work “, he said. “People listen to you. The students in our class respect you and what you have to say.” I still didn’t grasp. I walked out that day pondering his words; I was in school because of LetaFae. She believed for me when I couldn’t believe for myself. Now two people were speaking into my life words that would become seeds and grow.
Slowly I began to remember in school it was English class I enjoyed and could easily focus. We now know I had ADD which wasn’t diagnosed or understood years ago. Focusing was a real issue for me, but not in English. I soaked up those classes like a sponge. I always loved and enjoyed the English teachers. LetaFae was my Sunday school teacher who was a professor at the local junior college. She was relentless in encouraging me to take her creative writing class which I finally did. That one semester stirred the writing juices and the love for writing came alive! It was never dead just dormant.
The doors opened at the University of Texas at Tyler for me to major in Speech and minor in English, the two areas in which I loved and could easily focus. The day I walked into the creative writing class was thrilling, but not for long. No matter what I wrote, it was not good enough. I had gotten A’s in LetaFae’s class and C- in this class. When I would try to talk to the professor, Dr. So&So, (not her real name!) she would dismiss me. I was not to be dismissed. Finally one day, in front of the class, she told me I was not a writer, would never be a writer, and was wasting her time and mine. At age thirty-five I had no time to waste. Her eyes and her words tried to crush my spirit and almost did; but I remembered Mrs. Martin in elementary school believed in me, Leta Fae believed in me, and Dr. Schmidt believed in me. They said I could write; they said I could speak; they said I had gifts.
I’m so glad I had those people in my life who had helped build a strong foundation in me. I remember walking out of that teacher’s class that day, holding the tears in check and going to my car where I sat alone with my thoughts. She had made it clear early on she didn’t like me and my writing seemed to even offend her. I was a new Christian, passionate Christian, and I’m sure my writings had that flavor. I was exuberant for Jesus and He flowed out of every part of my life. I had enough joy for anyone who didn’t have joy!
For the life of me, I couldn’t understand why or how anyone couldn’t let me be me; I didn’t want to change anyone; I wasn’t trying to clone anyone; for the first time I was learning who I was and actually enjoying being me! But Dr. So&So (not her real name!) didn’t see it that way. I wasn’t sure how she saw it but it was evident how she saw me.
I finished her class. I had no more English courses to take; hers had been the last and could have easily rendered me a failure. But because of the positive people I had come to know and trust and the perspective they had helped me see, I was eventually able to shake off the damage Dr. So&So tried to inflict. I erased her words and held onto the influence of those who came before her.
A short time later, our oldest daughter was in college. She wanted to be a teacher and coach. She knew what she wanted. She had a coach in junior high, Elaine Tiller, whom she loved and respected. “I want to be a coach like Mrs. Tiller,” she announced in her eighth grade year. When she was doing her student teaching, the teacher advising her, told her she needed to pursue another career because she would not be good as a teacher. Traci’s experience was beyond awful with this lady; she was crushed. She got her degree, got married, had two children and became a stay-home mom. Her dream was over.
Everything has timing; there is a season for everything. Traci, along with Todd, raised two phenomenal children, gave them a strong foundation, while using her singing talents in churches and other events. Phil and I were hopeful she would pursue her gift of singing; however, her dreams since eighth grade were not dead; only dormant. God’s calling and purpose were being resurrected. Traci always helped at her kids’ school and the principal got to know her. She asked her to think about teaching; subbing. Traci’s confidence had been so shaken by that one student teaching experience that she couldn’t grasp that anyone would want to hire her. That principal didn’t just want to hire her; she WANTED her to teach for her!
Traci has now been teaching/coaching twenty years. She has been in several schools BECAUSE principals pursued her! She has been TEACHER OF THE YEAR three times at three campuses! Her coaching career became widely known due to several undefeated seasons, her winning titles, banners her teams won that cover gym walls, but equally because of the character building she provided in the girls who went through her program. Her reputation and her love for kids goes before her. I love shopping with her because I feel like I’m with a rock star! Parents and students alike flock to her.
I remember the day that advising teacher told her to pursue another career; as a mama bear I wanted to pay her a visit! I equally remember the day I sat in my car when Dr.So&So told me I couldn’t write. Two experiences, different yet meant to do the same thing: stop God’s purpose and plan.
We, Traci and I, had a choice. Listen to the people we trusted or let the words of people we would never see again rob us of our hope and dreams.
The day I published my book, DETOURS & DREAMS, part of me wanted to find Dr.So&So’s address and send her an autographed copy; I’m just being real with you. I love Jesus but He has to keep me in check from time to time! Not everyone will speak encouragement into our building process yet God allows them into our journey. Sometimes it’s the harshest critic that actually births something in us we need. The day I sat in my car, I determined to follow my heart and trust that God would show me my path and purpose.
Phil, Todd and I became Traci’s cheerleaders. Then wonderful principals stepped in to open the door into her calling.
God always has a way, but Satan equally has a plan. We choose.
This day, who will you believe about your life?
Life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) and our choices demonstrate what we believe. God isn’t in the heavens waving a big wand; but there is a cloud of witnesses, Heb.12:1, who are cheering us on; hopefully we each have cheerleaders in our corner of our world. I did; Traci did. If you do not have a personal cheerleader, be like King David: Samuel 30:6, “David was greatly distressed, for the men spoke of stoning him; But David encouraged and strengthened himself in the Lord his God.” Thousands of years later we still read about David, a man after God’s own heart. If anyone had a reason to give up it was him but he didn’t.
Get out of the boat and take a step of faith.
Who knows what is waiting for you.
