When I began writing Detours & Dreams in the ’90’s I had no idea why or that it would eventually be a book; I was simply journaling.  Every time I picked up the yellow pad and pen, I would end up crying more than writing. The pages would be wet and the ink smudged and I would feel drained. But I muddled through, as my heart faced the truth of what I had lived. Truth; our truth is all too often not truth at all but we think it is. What I didn’t know was my truth was being filtered through the hands of a loving God to see from His perspective. I had no idea that He was going to use me and my story to help others. Before I could remotely help anyone He had to first begin healing me. We can’t give away what we don’t have; putting my life onto paper was therapeutic to both my mind and heart. Years later I would walk into a room filled with young girls who needed to hear my story. And a new day for them and for me would begin.

I can close my eyes and see each face as though it was yesterday.

On what seemed like an ordinary day, I walked into a classroom to give a pep talk. But something bigger happened: God asked me to tell my story. “They don’t need a pep talk,” God whispered to me that day. “They need you to tell your story.”

“No way!” I heard the words quietly escape under my breath. “The teacher said they needed a pep talk! I don’t know them; they don’t know me; choose someone else!”

Standing front and center of teenage strangers was not what I wanted to do in the first place; being new in my job another teacher asked me to come speak and reluctantly I said yes.  I had never spoken to a group before let alone a group like this.  But here I stood; sweating on a cold December day, the unwanted guest speaker.  Stares became glares; what courage I had was quickly fading.

Tell them your story.

I glanced back at the door; I could make a run for it. The teacher seemed more nervous than me. “What if she leaves?”

As my knees buckled and my heart pounded, I leaned against a desk. Scanning the faces was overwhelming.  The ages were so young and the eyes so empty. Hurt, anger and hopelessness took the oxygen out of the already stale air.

Then I heard the words, the dreaded words whispering from my mouth:

“When I was sixteen, I was sitting where you are; I was a teen mom.”

Heads lifted; eyes connected; but a cold chill remained.

There was no group hug; no bonding moment. Sharing a common experience can open a door, but only God’s love changes hearts.

That day I was transparent and very vulnerable. It wasn’t my story they needed; it was the back story. That is the story that can’t be seen with physical eyes. It’s too intimate; too personal and it’s the story that tends to define us. The back story guides choices, decisions and creates a life perspective.  And all too often we end up with faulty thinking.

A back story can rarely be told in a few minutes or a “pep talk”.  But when God says it’s time, you can trust and share that He is in the moment; that day He was going to do something that only He could do.

Unknown to the rest of the world, in an old portable building called a classroom, a conversation began with a group of young, soon to be mothers. I talked, they talked, and we all listened to each other possibly for the first time. Understanding and trust bridged the divide between two age groups. There was much work to be done but it was a beginning.

Because of God’s redeeming grace I finally talked about my life; openly and authentically.

The next ten years I would have the opportunity to meet other teens. I would begin slowly, carefully by giving them a safe place to talk; to listen; to problem-solve. Together we would create a type of family that helped each other find hope, dream dreams, and believe in a life God wanted instead of what teenage pregnancy often dictated. We would inspire, encourage, and eventually allow change where it was needed.

After years of learning from each other, and seeing lives change again I felt that nudging: write your story. That day Detours & Dreams became “our” stories.

A new journey began. To tell our stories and to share the truth behind change lives. Truth sets people free to be who God says they are. Although I didn’t want it to be my truth, years ago I felt like God said, “Tag; you are it!”

The day I stood in front of that room filled with hurting girls my courage was weak yet it allowed me to do what God was asking me to do. That scary beginning evolved into years of helping other teens, and families, find God’s plan and purpose.

Hope, trust, love and faith are so much more than mere words. Those words had become the pivotal keys in changing my back story. For years I shared the power of those words through the way I interacted with the teens I met. They didn’t need me to preach; they watched how I treated them and if my actions lined up with my words. Some days I really messed up and they learned about asking for forgiveness. In the beginning I did that a lot.  But trust grew between us and that foundation allowed change. The hurts, disappointments and awful experiences were many; I understood that. But camping in those experiences and allowing the sins of the past to rob the future was not going to happen on my watch.

Two scripture verses guided my own life……Romans. 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11. The power in those verses amaze me daily. But before I knew about “scripture words” in a book they were lived out by older women who came into my life; none of them had ever been teen mothers or possibly lived life outside the normal boundaries. They were each ordinary women, placed into my young life at different times, who showed me unconditional love and kindness.

Because of their influence I didn’t remain defined by circumstances or consequences. Now I enjoy doing that for others.

So I write. I want others to find their purpose; to find what I did; to live with joy even when hard things happen. I am an overcomer and I have many stories to share. I have seen and experienced amazing things; I use words on a page to reach the ones I can’t physically reach.

So weekly I will pour a cup of coffee, open my computer and share truth, wrapped in a story, hoping it will make your day and life better. You are special; we all are.

KHJ